It’s no surprise that social relationships are good for our health. Thousands of studies support this, including landmark research which showed that lack of social relationships had a greater negative effect on one’s health than obesity or smoking (1). What is surprising, according to a new 2022 study, is this:

Simply connecting with someone to say you are thinking of them has a powerful, positive effect on the MESSAGE RECIPIENT—especially if that connection comes as a surprise.

In a 2022 journal article published by the American Psychological Association (2), researchers found that most of us dramatically underestimate how much other people appreciate it when we reach out to them. This sense of appreciation is magnified if the message was unexpected. Simply sending a text or a brief email to say “I was thinking of you today” can surprise and delight someone, helping them feel valued as they go about their day.

Try An Experiment

This week, before the hectic holiday activities begin, try an experiment:

Send a brief “thinking of you” text message to 3 people you know but haven’t connected with recently.

This will take about 100 seconds, or less than two minutes! If you don’t like to text, send an email. Then see what happens. When I tried this experiment, I received lovely return messages from everyone, which made my day a little more joyful.